Deer Aren't Real

Free youself from the Deerbrained Propaganda!

Deer aren't what you think they are. Contrary to popular belief, they are not gentle forest creatures, but highly advanced government vehicles designed to secretly transport up to 50 birds at once. These birds, of course, aren't real either – they are battery-powered spy planes, gathering information wherever they go. The deer are equipped with mass-deployment capabilities, able to release entire fleets of birds in a matter of seconds, making them perfect for covert surveillance operations. Their sleek design and woodland camouflage allow them to blend seamlessly into nature, hiding their true mechanical nature.

Powered by bunker oil, deer generate electricity to keep both themselves and the birds charged. This explains their elusive behavior: they often retreat deep into forests, not out of fear, but to keep people from hearing the hum of their bunker fuel-based generators. Manufactured in Deer Park, NY, these deer are rolled off assembly lines and strategically placed around the world. So, the next time you see a deer, remember – it’s not just a deer. It's a sophisticated machine with a covert mission to keep you under constant observation.

At great risk from Big Deer, we have obtained these photos from the underground deer production line. We snuck into a production facility where deer are manufactured deep underground on assembly lines, ready to be loaded with robotic bird spys. The deer are fully mechanical but look very lifelike.

Throughout the facility, workers in protective suits moved swiftly between rows of deer in various stages of completion. Some were still mostly metal frames, their limbs dangling from a series of gantries, while others stood tall with their glass eyes fixed on nothingness, their velvet antlers reaching toward the ceiling.